I know your birthday is coming soon and i cant seem to get you out of my mind. I miss you so much and i love you ... like i said im hoping you google yourself one day and find these so you know how much i think about you. I hope you don't have a replacement daddy by now. Your not supposed to but im glad your mother is taking care of you. I know she is a good mother to you and she cares about you very much, but i do to and i dont have alot of hope in my life right now but you are the light i keep looking for in my heart. I have wanted to leave this world because of the empty feelings i get in my heart. And my relationship with you is the only thing that will ever fill it.. One time your mom said if anything ever happened to you or someone took you from her they might as well take her too because she could not stand it. Well thats what has happened to me and im trying to be strong and praying everyday that hearts will change. we all make mistakes in our lives and as long as the lord forgives us that is what matters. The world can be a cruel place and i hope you never have to experience that. I hate that im not there everyday like i used to be to take you to school and pick you up ... do you remember that? I hope you remember me in a good way. I have had some health problems and the doctors gave me medicine that nearly destroyed me when i tried to get off of it.. well i still have some health problems but the other problems have gone away. I dream of seeing you and hugging you. Maybe when you get old enough we can get together and live our lives closer i know it will never make up for me not being there now but alot of that is not my fault. I want you to email me at mysonmax@hotmail.com and let me know how you are. Im sure pretty soon that the school with let you use the computers in the library and maybe just maybe you will get these messages. Im so sad without you. Money is the root of all evil and i know its a necessity to live in this day and age. but i used to make good money and if i had a bundle of it i would send it to you for every thing you need and to help your mom. but i want to see you.. and i want to talk to you. the last time i talked to your mom she said you were fine without me well im not fine without you.. i love you and your the only reason i have any hope in this world... i love you baby bear and i wish i could be there for your eleventh birthday and i wish i had the money to get you something really nice. but if i send something there is not guarantee you would get it. if i had alot of friends in the world i would send them all to the house and they could let you know my love for you and give you gifts... then certain people would not be able to hide my attempts to contact you. you would get my letters. and cards..if you contact me and you have a cell phone give me the number i will call you.
Love your Daddy
Tim
Friday, September 16, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I Dream about you Baby Bear. coweta ok
Max
This is your daddy posting just in case you ever google yourself and i want you to know i dream about you every night and i even daydream about your. Im wondering what your doing at all times. I spend most of my days with you on my mind and i bet you think about me to. I try to call sometimes but you never call back so i just have quit trying. if you ever see this email me at mysonmax@hotmail.com and i will let you know whats going on with me. Ever since me and your mother got divorced i have not been able to get back on my feet. Im so depressed that i do not have you in my life. I hope when you get old enough i can have a relationship with you and maybe we can even live in the same city. I have alot of things to tell you about why we havent been able to talk to each other. I have called on your birthdays but apparantly someone doesnt think you need me in your life and is only thinking of themself. People in the world always judge you on the thing you might have done wrong not all the good things you did. anyway i dont have the money to send your mother for child support at this time and i hate that. I did send you a card for your birthday in the year 2010 and i hope you got the 40 dollars on the visa card i got for you. You are the only reason that i even want to live. Im just hoping one day money will come to me and i can pay off a certain person and i will be able to see you. I tried several different ways to make money on the internet even to the point of almost begging. Im just in so much disarray without your .. your are my sunshine and my baby bear. I hope your allowed to have pictures of me and remember all the love i gave to you. I wear your necklace you gave me, you probably dont remember but it may be like a power ranger thing. Just so you know i have bad back problems and i cant seem to work hard enough for anyone anymore. I just want you to know i love you more than life itself and i hope you dream about me. I know we have a god and i hope you do to. We all have to answer to him and im ready to answer for my shortcomings. I hope other people in your life actually realize they will also answer for other things.. Read the ten commandments baby bear and those are the guidelines for life. Those are the ones i worry about most. I seen your picture your so handsome in your baseball uniform. Like i said maybe one day the lord will bless me with money and thats all it takes to buy people these days. Not that i want to buy people but i want to pay your mother for taking good care of you physically anyway. I just hope to see you soon so i can get back into the groove of life and out of this dark hole im in right now. I love you more than i can say in a lifetime if i told you every second it would not be enough ... i know your birthday is coming up soon on the 22nd and i been trying to sell stuff on ebay. but i dont have much stuff to sell. On top of that paypal holds my money for like 21 days because i just started selling things. Anyway i had to write this to you ... im in tears right now i have a hole in my heart and only my son Christopher Maxwell McGhee.... Can ever fill that. No matter what i do to have fun in life its nothing to me. Possetions are nothing to me they are just for us to play with. We do not own a thing in this world .. when we die the only thing that matters are the people you love. and your my number 1 person in the whole world.. Well im going to let you go and i hope you see this one day. Your are always my baby bear.Oh by the way i still have the heart you made me in first grade that says i love my daddy..when you get old enough we have alot to talk about. Maybe by then i will have my back fixed and will be able to work. I guess im just getting old..Keep this between us ... oh if you get on facebook i want you to contact me
Your Daddy
Tim
anyone want to help me get my baby a birthday present. im unemployed right now but use the email above for paypal.. only if you want to though. I hate to even ask and im sure it will not do any good because i tried to help my neice and nephew when their daddy died at the age of 38 and i truly think no one cares most would give to save a dog before they saved a human. Terrible world these days.
This is your daddy posting just in case you ever google yourself and i want you to know i dream about you every night and i even daydream about your. Im wondering what your doing at all times. I spend most of my days with you on my mind and i bet you think about me to. I try to call sometimes but you never call back so i just have quit trying. if you ever see this email me at mysonmax@hotmail.com and i will let you know whats going on with me. Ever since me and your mother got divorced i have not been able to get back on my feet. Im so depressed that i do not have you in my life. I hope when you get old enough i can have a relationship with you and maybe we can even live in the same city. I have alot of things to tell you about why we havent been able to talk to each other. I have called on your birthdays but apparantly someone doesnt think you need me in your life and is only thinking of themself. People in the world always judge you on the thing you might have done wrong not all the good things you did. anyway i dont have the money to send your mother for child support at this time and i hate that. I did send you a card for your birthday in the year 2010 and i hope you got the 40 dollars on the visa card i got for you. You are the only reason that i even want to live. Im just hoping one day money will come to me and i can pay off a certain person and i will be able to see you. I tried several different ways to make money on the internet even to the point of almost begging. Im just in so much disarray without your .. your are my sunshine and my baby bear. I hope your allowed to have pictures of me and remember all the love i gave to you. I wear your necklace you gave me, you probably dont remember but it may be like a power ranger thing. Just so you know i have bad back problems and i cant seem to work hard enough for anyone anymore. I just want you to know i love you more than life itself and i hope you dream about me. I know we have a god and i hope you do to. We all have to answer to him and im ready to answer for my shortcomings. I hope other people in your life actually realize they will also answer for other things.. Read the ten commandments baby bear and those are the guidelines for life. Those are the ones i worry about most. I seen your picture your so handsome in your baseball uniform. Like i said maybe one day the lord will bless me with money and thats all it takes to buy people these days. Not that i want to buy people but i want to pay your mother for taking good care of you physically anyway. I just hope to see you soon so i can get back into the groove of life and out of this dark hole im in right now. I love you more than i can say in a lifetime if i told you every second it would not be enough ... i know your birthday is coming up soon on the 22nd and i been trying to sell stuff on ebay. but i dont have much stuff to sell. On top of that paypal holds my money for like 21 days because i just started selling things. Anyway i had to write this to you ... im in tears right now i have a hole in my heart and only my son Christopher Maxwell McGhee.... Can ever fill that. No matter what i do to have fun in life its nothing to me. Possetions are nothing to me they are just for us to play with. We do not own a thing in this world .. when we die the only thing that matters are the people you love. and your my number 1 person in the whole world.. Well im going to let you go and i hope you see this one day. Your are always my baby bear.Oh by the way i still have the heart you made me in first grade that says i love my daddy..when you get old enough we have alot to talk about. Maybe by then i will have my back fixed and will be able to work. I guess im just getting old..Keep this between us ... oh if you get on facebook i want you to contact me
Your Daddy
Tim
anyone want to help me get my baby a birthday present. im unemployed right now but use the email above for paypal.. only if you want to though. I hate to even ask and im sure it will not do any good because i tried to help my neice and nephew when their daddy died at the age of 38 and i truly think no one cares most would give to save a dog before they saved a human. Terrible world these days.
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